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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28164783">D♭4 (D Flat, Fourth Octave)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShockWonder/pseuds/ShockWonder'>ShockWonder</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Another Despair Generation, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Gun Violence, Heart-to-Heart, Inspired by Music, M/M, Mentions of Chapter 1 Death of ADG (don't read for spoilers), Past Abuse, Serious Injuries, Suicide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:48:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,794</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28164783</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShockWonder/pseuds/ShockWonder</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A sonata plays in Ryuji's mind when he's taken back to one specific memory that haunts him forever.</p><p> </p><p>Get him out.</p><p>Please.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kinjo Ryuji/Kurokawa Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Movement Number One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>To all the music students out there! This one's for you!</p><p>The preferred music to listen to for this is Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, in D♭ minor.</p><p> </p><p>TW: Guns, mentions of graphic violence</p><p> </p><p>Also: This is in no way entirely canon to the ADG universe. It was simply an idea that popped into my mind, and I had to get it out somehow.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Though Dimitri's death is understandably devastating to quite a few people, no one can understand why Ryuji sprints out of the room the moment he sees the corpse, at 7:44 a.m, right as the BDA plays.</p><p> </p><p>Not even Akume can tell why. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Ryuji stood there, his knees trembling, until right after she came in, and then he dashed out, nothing but an audible gasp to signify his exit as the BDA played over his frantic footsteps.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>And yet, she knows something is up. Her instinct is kicking in, and she knows something has to be up. What could have caused this sudden behavior in Ryuji?</p><p> </p><p>She isn't sure, and that concerns her. Ryuji tends to tell her everything, as his best friend.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>...she has no idea where he might be, either.</p><p> </p><p>"Everyone, stay here. I'll need to look for Ryu. I expect that you all will treat this seriously. I'll be back."</p><p> </p><p>Mitsuki nods in comprehension, and Akume feels a weight release from her shoulders. Thank gosh for Mitsuki.</p><p> </p><p>Granted, she still needs to find out why Ryuji is acting the way he is, but there isn't any other issue she has to deal with besides that.</p><p> </p><p>Now, where could Ryuji have gone? There aren't too many options.</p><p> </p><p>She decides to check every area nearby, one by one until she finds him.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Ryuji can't take it anymore. With every passing second the memories grow clearer, and he wants to get it out of his head, he wants to take it, this pain and agony, all of it, out of his head the same way that <b>he</b> did, but it’s stuck in his head and he can't breathe and he’s screaming in agony, and he can't fucking take it, he can't fucking take it, he can't fucking take it, <b>HE CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT-</b></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"RRRRRAAAARRRRGGHHHH!"</b>
</p><p> </p><p>His hands shoot up to his head, grasping onto it tightly as he struggles to breathe.</p><p> </p><p>"Come on, come on, Ryu, you h-have this, y-you have th-this, you've got th-this u-under control, c-come on, come on..."</p><p> </p><p>His body is failing him. Alongside not being able to breathe, his legs give out from underneath him and he collapses onto his bedroom floor.</p><p> </p><p>Easy move, it’s soundproof, so no one can hear him panic.</p><p> </p><p>"...dad... I miss you... s-so much..."</p><p> </p><p>“...why did society h-have to... t-take you away... the w-way it did?”<br/>
<br/>
ㅤ</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>His mind takes him back to two years ago, and suddenly, he's back.</p><p> </p><p>Back in his old bedroom, where he's about to head off to another day of training with his dad.</p><p> </p><p>Tsurugi always lectures him about how it was his job to reform society, because society in general is wicked and will always be… according to him, at least.</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji has this innocence to him, however. He never takes Tsurugi’s comments to heart at all.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Dad, you know that’s not true! There is so much good in the world to be found, too!”<br/>
<br/>
“...if only you knew, Ryu. If only you knew.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ryuji always chuckles after that, but every time, his dad gives him a bittersweet smile.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Ah, but back to the topic. Ryuji’s about to start training today! All he has to do is wait for his dad.</p><p> </p><p>Right now, it's 8<strong>:</strong>33! They should be going by now!</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>…</strong>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>...odd.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>His dad seems to be running late today, what's taking him so long?</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>He heads over to his dad's bedroom and opens the door.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strike> (Part of him wishes he’d never thought to check on him.) </strike>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>The first thing he sees<strong>:</strong> </p><p> </p><p>his dad's shiny badge, on the nightstand.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji picks it up, before he notices<strong>:</strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Number two. </p><p> </p><p>The drawer containing Tsurugi's gun, open and with the ammo and weapon missing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Odd. Tsurugi never takes the gun to work. Why was it gone from its usual spot? That could only be explained by<strong>:</strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Number three.</p><p> </p><p>His dad. Standing in front of him, a bittersweet smile on his face, the same bittersweet smile he always had shown to Ryuji.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He picks up on the fact that Tsurugi has his gun to his left temple moments after.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>But before he can do anything, it all leads up to<strong>:</strong></p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Number <strong>four</strong> (unlucky, the number of death... how ironic), which happens at 8<strong>:</strong>3<strong>4</strong> in the morning.</p><p> </p><p>The scene that lies in front of him moments later, as a bullet from Tsurugi's gun loudly makes an exit with a bang, piercing through his skull and resting in his brain, taking away his dad’s life in an instant.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tsurugi’s corpse falls flat on the floor as the white room, with pure Ryuji in it, is painted red with blood.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><b>His dad's </b>blood.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ryuji is frozen in shock. He doesn't know what to do at this point.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He takes a look down at his hands, which are covered with drops of blood.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>That's a part of <em>his dad</em> he's holding right now.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ryuji starts breathing heavily.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>His dad, who is <em>dead</em> on the floor right now.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ryuji's speeding up, his breaths going at an allegro tempo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>His dad. Who <em>killed himself</em>. Right in front of Ryuji.</strong>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ryuji's panic reaches its climax.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And he screams.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s all he can hear, the sound ringing in his ears endlessly, echoing in his mind until he gets lost in his own thoughts, absolutely devastated and trapped in wave after wave of emotions, that purity that once emanated from him washing away with every wave.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>He registers his own scream as a <b>D</b><b>♭</b><b>4</b> that slides down into oblivion. He doesn’t even know why, but it rings in his head just like in music class.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The note is trapped in his head forever, the start of a haunting sonata to be ingrained in his brain just like that of a bullet.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And it’s stuck there.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Forever.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>That's all he can remember. Everything else is a blur, and by the time he comes to again, Yuki, his other dad, is wiping down his bloody face and clothes, and hugging him tightly, and Ryuji doesn't even register the plentiful amount of tears coming down his own cheeks.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>All he can do is stare, as the police close off the area with bright yellow caution tape, and put his dad into a body bag.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They're being escorted outside now, and Ryuji suddenly remembers.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He's still holding his dad's badge.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But this time, it's tainted with his dad's blood.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Well... so is he, anyway.</p><p> </p><p>He lets out a bitter chuckle at that.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He's keeping it. No matter what.</p><p> </p><p>...his dad said he'd pass it onto him one day.</p><p> </p><p>But now he isn't even here to do it in person.</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji ends up having to do it by himself.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The memory has been stored at the back of Ryuji's mind ever since, the experience proving too traumatizing to handle.</p><p> </p><p>It made Ryuji question himself once, months after his dad’s death.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Why was he doing this? Why did he want to follow in his dad’s footsteps and be a cop?</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"I want to serve society, just like my dad does! Or, rather... did."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He finds an answer straight away, shouting it to no one in particular.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And yet, his mind is there to object, like a shadow right behind him, following his every move and whispering in his ear like the wind.</p><p> </p><p>It’s a curse, and he hates it.</p><p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<b> <em>“That society is wicked. It took away your dad.”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
He tries to argue against it.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>“But I believe I can change it! People can learn to cooperate and work together, can’t they?”<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>[TARGET LOCKED]</strong> </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>[COUNTERARGUMENT: READY TO FIRE]</strong> </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>[LAUNCHING AT RYUJI]</strong> </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“Your dad tried to do the same thing. Look where it got him: six feet under.”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He’s not going to give up! He… he won’t! For the greater good, he’s going to persist!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“...I... I want to believe in society! I want to be able to serve it to the best of my ability!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ready...</p><p> </p><p>Aim...</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Fire.</p><p>The final bullet, the killing moment, that one thing that destroys Ryuji.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“Society isn’t ever going to change. You should know that better than anyone here, given that you have experience firsthand. Even with law enforcement there to stop crime every step of the way, society manages to be corrupt and terrible every single time.”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“Hell, even the law enforcement itself can be corrupt. What point is there trying to change a society that won’t bother to listen? Cooperation requires all parties to be able to listen and hear each other out, after all.”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well, I-”<br/>
<br/>
“I…”<br/>
<br/>
“...I…”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“...”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He has nothing to fire back with. He’s all out of ammo.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>He takes a look at his dad's badge, which he put on his nightstand ever since as a memory of Tsurugi.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>And he breaks down again, as it finally sets in. He falls to his knees, crying over the badge as if his dad was still there, on his knees as well, hugging him as he confessed this forbidden thought… or at least, Ryuji thinks it’s forbidden.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>But Tsurugi knew how hard it was to be a cop.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>...his death is a grim reminder of that.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“...father… I-I’m so s-sorry… I c-can’t d-do what you w-wanted me to…”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>His tears hit the badge, and despite the shine that they give off, it only makes Ryuji feel worse, remembering how that badge used to shine on his dad’s uniform whenever he went into action.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“...m-maybe this is for the best.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This led him to become a private investigator, instead of a cop.</p><p> </p><p>He tried to justify this change to himself.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
<ul>
<li>Private investigators got paid more to gather evidence for cases.</li>
</ul><p> </p>
<ul>
<li>They could get hired by private clients for good money.</li>
</ul><p> </p>
<ul>
<li>They weren't forced to keep track of everything in society, and instead honed in on specific issues within the society itself.</li>
</ul><p> </p>
<ul>
<li>Overall, it was much better than to be out in the field as a cop, watching society as it constantly committed wrongdoings and terrible crimes.</li>
</ul><p> </p><p> </p><p>...but was Ryuji fine with that?</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>...he’d never know.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Oh, if only D♭4 hadn’t been such a nuisance.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Ryuji loathes that specific note now.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><b>D</b> for <b>D</b>eath.</p><p> </p><p><b>♭</b>, the flat-note symbol, a representation of his hopes for society falling flat.</p><p> </p><p><b>4</b>, the unlucky number for death.</p><p> </p><p><strong>D</strong> for his <strong>d</strong>ad, who took his own life away in one single shot, at 8:3<strong>4</strong>, in <strong>four</strong> movements. He was gone in only an instant, leaving Ryuji to scream at the bloody scene.</p><p> </p><p><b>D</b> for <b>D</b>imitri, who had their life taken away just last night, at 9<strong>:</strong>1<strong>4,</strong> discovered at 7<strong>:44</strong>, after playing a concert, lying <b>♭</b> on their back in the pool. Their final performance, and they’d never known until they died that very night.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>It’s too much.</p><p> </p><p>How was Ryuji this stupid?<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>His dad had told him, time after time again, that society was corrupted and evil.</p><p> </p><p>Time after time again, he’d dismissed his father’s remarks, and twice now, it had come to bite him in the ass.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He trusted the society of humans in Japan, hoping everyone would be good.</p><p> </p><p>It took away his dad.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong>D</strong>ead.</p><p> </p><p><b>♭ </b>on the floor.</p><p> </p><p>At 8<strong>:</strong>3<strong>4</strong>.</p><p> </p><p>Movement number <strong>four</strong>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He trusted the society of students in this killing game, hoping everyone would be good.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It took away Dimitri.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong>D</strong>ead.</p><p> </p><p><b>♭</b> on their back, lying in the pool.</p><p> </p><p>Killed at 9<strong>:</strong>1<strong>4.</strong></p><p> </p><p>Found at 7<strong>:</strong><strong>44</strong>.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>From where he sat down on the floor, his legs pulled tight to his chest in the corner of his room, Ryuji weeps again.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>And that sonata plays in his mind again, as he’s forced to relive every single movement of that dreadful event, over and over again, haunting him until he’s lost in the music of his own mind all over again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Help...</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Someone, help me!</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Please, I'm begging you...</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>PLEASE!</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>JUST GET ME OUT!</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But no one will.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
In this deafening silence, a sonata in <strong>D♭</strong> major plays in Ryuji Kinjo's head, ingrained like a bullet, jammed in his brain.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The curtain draws, and it’s all over <strong>4</strong> Ryuji.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Still Trapped in the Piano</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>...there's a lot more than Ryuji's been willing to disclose.</p><p>...for his own safety. And theirs.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: HEAVY GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE, PAST CHILD ABUSE, BLOOD, SEVERE INJURIES</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s the evening after the trial for Dimitri.</p><p> </p><p>...they’d already found and convicted his killer. They had already been executed already.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>And Ryuji wasn’t in the best state of mind after that trial, by any means. He, and the rest of his innocent classmates had sent the murderer to their death. To their doom.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>So he just… goes on with his day, as the events of the afternoon and evening blur into a mess. Most of that occurs in his room, where he just sits there, in his uniform, doing nothing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He didn't have lunch. Or dinner. He hadn't eaten the entire day.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>...he doesn't mind. He doesn't feel his stomach growling anyway.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Even if Akume tries to check in and see if he's okay, he just passes off her remarks with a few simple words.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>...no one makes any attempt to talk to him for the entire day after that.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And he's okay with that. He needs time to cope.</p><p> </p><p>...how much time has passed already?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Moments later, he can faintly hear the nighttime announcement in the back of his mind, but he tunes it out, deciding to finally get to his feet and do something.</p><p> </p><p>He steps out of his room to find no one nearby. Fine with him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He arrives at the music room, moments later.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Even if Dimitri was already dead... well...i</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji always found that whenever he wasn’t doing so well, he always had music there to cope with the difficult times.</p><p> </p><p>It was… a comfort, for him.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He sat down on the piano bench, at the grand piano, marveling at the keys.</p><p> </p><p>A piano still managed to take his breath away. Even after so many years.</p><p> </p><p>And his hands immediately got into position, as he figured he’d play a piece.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Gymnopedie no. 1, by Erik Satie. His favorite piece.</p><p> </p><p>His hands went into position for the first chords.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Music:</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     G</b>
</p><p>
  <b>     B-D-F#</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     D</b>
</p><p>
  <b>     A-C#-F#</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     G</b>
</p><p>
  <b>     B-D-F#</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     D</b>
</p><p>
  <b>     A-C#-F#</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     (G)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>F# (B-D-F#)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>A</b>
</p><p>
  <b>G  (D)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>F# (A-C#-F#)</b>
</p><p><strike><b>D♭</b></strike> <b> C (WRONG!)</b></p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Wait a second-</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><br/>“Argh!”</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji slammed his hands against the seat of the piano bench in exasperation.</p><p> </p><p>“...whew… come on, Ryuji, keep it together. Just take a deep breath… deep breath… and…”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Gracefully, he returned to playing, resuming the same pattern as before.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Music:</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>     G</b>
</p><p>
  <b>     B-D-F#</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     D</b>
</p><p>
  <b>     A-C#-F#</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     G</b>
</p><p>
  <b>     B-D-F#</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     D</b>
</p><p>
  <b>     A-C#-F#</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     (G)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>F# (B-D-F#)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>A</b>
</p><p>
  <b>G  (D)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>F# (A-C#-F#)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>C#</b>
</p><p>
  <b>B   (G)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>C# (B-D-F#)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>D</b>
</p><p>
  <b>A (D)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>    (A-C#-F#)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>F# (G)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>F# (B-D-F#)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     (D)</b>
</p><p><b>F# (A-<strike>[</strike></b><strike> <b>D♭]</b></strike> <b>C-F#) (WRONG!)</b></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>No…!</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“NO!” Ryuji groaned, facepalming himself. One single finger slip and he’d accidentally played a C instead of just a C#… how’d he do that? It was so simple to not mess up!</p><p> </p><p>“...okay, okay, just a simple mistake, really!” Ryuji tells himself, trying to calm himself down, but his hands are shaking.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>“Ryuji, try again. I see you’re making a few mistakes there… didn’t you say your teacher said you were doing good at piano lessons? What’s with the mistakes?” Tsurugi tore into Ryuji, even with such a simple question.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“I-It was just a mistake! No big deal at all, really!” Ryuji told his father, stuttering.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“If you were doing good, I’d think you wouldn’t make such a mistake in the first place,” Tsurugi fires back, as he walks out.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Ryuji looks down sadly at the keys of his piano.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“...why won’t he just let me be imperfect? Do I need to be perfect 24/7…?”</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“...whew… okay. One more time. Why n-not?”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Music:</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>     G</b>
</p><p>
  <b>     B-D-F#</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     D</b>
</p><p>
  <b>     A-C#-F#</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     G</b>
</p><p>
  <b>     B-D-F#</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     D</b>
</p><p><b>     A-C#-</b><strike><b>[F#]</b></strike> <b>F</b></p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Angrily, Ryuji slams his fists into the two opposite ends of the piano.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, okay, no big deal, no big deal! It’s fine, it’s fine, I’m <b> <em>fine…</em> </b>” he huffs, tears starting to well up in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>He is, in fact, not fine!</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Piano was fun for Ryuji at first. He had an interest in it (though it was sparked in part due to Tsurugi, though he didn’t realize it at the time). Tsurugi said that it would help later in life, that it’d be an impressive skill to learn and that he should learn it if he wanted to.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>He got a cool piano! It was varnished, and it sat at the bottom of the stairs for Ryuji to see every time he went down. All he had to do was head down.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>The stairs were shaped like an L, opening at the right end.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>The piano sat at the corner of it, so that it faced the front door. If anyone were to step in while Ryuji was playing, they’d see him immediately!</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>It was very rewarding for him when he was able to get down the newest piece he was learning! Recitals were also so much fun, because he got to showcase his talent to the world!</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>But as time went on, the pieces started getting harder. Ryuji got more exercises to do to train his technical skills.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>He didn’t mind, of course, but when it came to his father, one slip of the finger while he was around would… well…</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>“Still stuck on that piece?”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“Y-Yeah…”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“Maybe if you’d practiced more, then that wouldn’t be happening.”</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Every time he said that, Ryuji started to burn up inside.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>He never generally tended to practice while his dad was around, for fear of him seeing his less-than-perfect piano playing.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>And he’d always make sure to take advantage of that time, because if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to master the part of the piece he was practicing at his piano class that Saturday.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>...he felt bound to the piano at this point. It was losing its appeal.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>But the skills were too ingrained in him to stop now. If he stopped, he risked losing it all, according to his dad.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>So he kept playing.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>And so, he kept playing. Slower, this time, just to make sure that he didn’t mess up.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Music:</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>     G</b>
</p><p>
  <b>     B-D-F#</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     D</b>
</p><p>
  <b>     A-C#-F#</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     G</b>
</p><p>
  <b>     B-D-F#</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     D</b>
</p><p>
  <b>     A-C#-F#</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     (G)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>F# (B-D-F#)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>A</b>
</p><p>
  <b>G  (D)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>F# (A-C#-F#)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>C#</b>
</p><p>
  <b>B   (G)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>C# (B-D-F#)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>D</b>
</p><p>
  <b>A (D)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>    (A-C#-F#)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>F# (G)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>F# (B-D-F#)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     (D)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>F# (A-C#-F#)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>F# (G)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>F# (B-D-F#)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     (D)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>F# (A-C#-F#)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Alright, he was doing well so far…</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     (G)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>F# (B-D-F#)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>A</b>
</p><p>
  <b>G  (D)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>F# (A-C#-F#)</b>
</p><p><strike><b>D♭</b></strike> <b> C</b></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>(WRONG!)</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>...his finger slipped.</p><p> </p><p>And he made the same exact mistake that he did at the beginning.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>“You want to quit? Now? But why?”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“Dad, it’s becoming a job rather than just a hobby or a fun skill. It’s stressful at this point to even play because you keep on being so… nitpicky! I don’t find this fun anymore… I want out!”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>[SMACK!]</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Ryuji gasped, grasping his left cheek. Tears started to well in his eyes.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“Is that so…?”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“I… I…”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“...maybe we should try to find you a different piano teacher, then. One that’s more strict. Maybe this wouldn’t happen if I didn’t give you that kind one… he was too nice for you. You need someone better, to help you realize your potential, Ryuji!”</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Ryuji dashed up the stairs.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Tsurugi immediately headed upstairs to follow him.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“NO! GET AWAY!”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Ryuji rushed to his bedroom.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>What a grave mistake.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>He had no way to escape his father now.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>And he was standing at the door.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“Stop being so childish. What is drawing and singing going to get you? I noticed you've been more into that than the piano lately."</em></b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strong>That was it.</strong> </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“...better off than what enslaving me to that damn piano will.”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“What did you say?”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“...I said what I said. You’re practically chaining me to that goddamn piano at this point. If I’m not at the piano practicing, you call me out on it for being lazy. If I’m not playing at 100% at the piano, you call me out on it for being imperfect and suggest I practice more. What am I supposed to do but play that fucking piano 100% of the time, 24/7, huh?!”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Tsurugi went pale, and his eyes widened.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>But color returned to his face shortly, as his face grew redder and redder with anger.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“Why, you-”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“...wait, wait, wait, no, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT…!”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Tsurugi pinned him down to the bed, and Ryuji couldn’t get out. Tsurugi’s right hand wrapped around his neck.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“A-AH-”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“...I thought I told you that people that refuse to obey the law get their divine punishment, Ryuji. What for you?”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“W-Wait, dad, I-I’m sorry, just l-let me go! I c-can’t breathe…” Ryuji whimpered and gasped, trying to move as tears rolled down his eyes.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“As long as you’re under this roof, you follow my rules. It’s just piano classes, Ryuji! It’s not that big of a deal, you know?”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“GET O-OFF!”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Ryuji managed to push his dad off and immediately ran out of his bedroom. He headed to the stairs when…</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“RYUJI!”</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>He tripped.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>At the edge of the stairs.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>He fell.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>And he screamed.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Every.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Single.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Step.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Of the way.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>[ THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUD THUMP ]</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Ryuji felt himself break with every hit he took as he hit the smooth wooden steps of the stairs. He felt his bones break, his warm blood rush out of him and stain his clothes, and overall he felt nothing but pain.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>And then it happened. The grand finale of this disaster.</em></b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>His body hit the railing at the corner of the L-shaped stairs.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>And he fell over it.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>He fell on top of the piano, and he heard the wood break and splinter, and a splinter sliced open his left shoulder and arm.</em></b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>His head slammed against the wood, hitting the top cover.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>And he landed on his back, on top of the keys, gasping, as his blood stained the pure, white keys.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>The most abhorrent sound erupted from the piano, as all the keys were pressed down strongly, and all at once.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Then Ryuji’s body rolled off, and he landed on top of the piano bench with a sickening thud, on his back, while his head, arms, and legs dangled off of the bench.</em></b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>He gasped for air, feeling the blood rush to his head from the angle he was lying down in. Blood flew out of his mouth, some of it running down his face and stopping right above his eyes.</em></b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>He couldn’t move.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“...h-help… me… it hurts..."</em></b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Akume stepped through the front door at that point, after she'd heard the noise from nearby.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>"Ryuji? What happened? I heard a loud commotion-"</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>She gasped.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b><em>She walked right in on Ryuji, bleeding out on the piano bench, in front of a blood-stained, damaged piano.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“...Ryuji?!”</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“...Akume… help… me… please...”</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b><em>Akume could see how much Ryuji was struggling. His chest was heaving, and he was trying to move desperately, but he couldn’t do anything.</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b><em>She was frozen in place, watching as her best friend's life drained away in front of her.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>In vain, Ryuji tried to reach out to her with his left hand.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>That hand dropped, shortly after, dangling off of the bench.</em></b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Weakly, he let out a faint whimper.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>His eyes rolled into his head, and he went limp, his left arm swinging.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>His chest stopped moving, and the struggle Ryuji was having finally ended.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>And that’s when Akume finally unfroze.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>“RYUJI! HOLD ON! I’LL GET AN AMBULANCE! STICK WITH ME, RYUJI, PLEASE! DON'T GO!"</em></b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>That was the last thing Ryuji heard, before he fell unconscious.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He remembers every part of it.</p><p> </p><p>Every inch of his body shudders when he remembers that moment. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The pain.</p><p> </p><p>The agony.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>...he still has one thing to remember that incident by.</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji grasps his left shoulder with his right hand, gripping onto the spot where that scar was left on him from underneath his uniform.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It still hurts if he uses that shoulder excessively.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji starts to tremble.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>And then, he finally snaps.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>“RRRAAHHHHHH!”</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He slams down the cover of the piano and starts punching it angrily with all his might, even if it doesn’t do anything to break it.</p><p> </p><p>“I HATE THIS! I HATE YOU! I HATE DAD! I HATE EVERYTHING! WHY?! WHY DID DIMITRI HAVE TO DIE?! WHY DID THEY GET KILLED BY… BY… GRR! WHY?! WHY CAN’T I DO <b>SHIT</b> TO SAVE EVERYONE?! IS THIS HOW I DIE?! IS THIS HOW MY BEST FRIEND DIES?!” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>“IS THIS HOW WE ALL FUCKING DIE?! IN THIS DAMN HELLHOLE, GASPING AS OUR LIVES ARE CRUELLY TAKEN AWAY FROM US?! I WON’T HAVE IT! I WON’T FUCKING HAVE IT!”</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ryuji ends it there, forcefully slamming his head into the cover of the piano with a screech, then wincing when he realizes it’s not the keys.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>...but then he realizes something’s wrong.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ryuji pulls his head up weakly.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Blood stains the cover of the piano.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Oh.</p><p> </p><p>Oh, no.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ryuji reaches up to touch his forehead with his right hand.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>...blood.</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>It’s blood.</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>He looks back down at his hands.</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>They’re bleeding.</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>But he doesn’t pay attention to that. Just that there is blood on his hands.</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>And the memories of Tsurugi, and the moment he committed suicide in front of him, all of that washes over him again.</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>And that’s the final thing he needs to break.</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>"...blood... it's... dad's... blood..."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“...dad… I need… to clean this… blood… off…” he says, monotonously, and leaves the music room, bleeding, his head drooping down to stare at the floor as his arms dangle loosely.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Blood drips down onto the floor from his head and hands as he takes step after step, slowly…</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“...I’m sorry, dad… I’m making such a mess here…” he mumbles, staggering almost as if he was a zombie.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ren is walking back to his room when he suddenly bumps into Ryuji. He nearly screams at the sight of Ryuji covered in blood.</p><p> </p><p>“HOLY SHIT, RYUJI! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!” he yells.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ryuji turns his head up to look at him, and Ren shudders.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, god… your eyes look so… empty…!” Ren whispers, terrified.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ryuji turns to look at the floor again.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“...dad… he’s dead… committed suicide in front of me… just now…”</p><p> </p><p>“Ryuji, hasn't your dad been dead for a long time?!”</p><p> </p><p>“...making mess… bleeding… blood… made such a mess… clean up blood… need to go…”</p><p> </p><p>“No, no, wait, Ryuji, hang on, hang on, you need to go to the infirmary now. You’re bleeding.”</p><p> </p><p>“...but… mess…”</p><p> </p><p>“No, no, Ryuji, you need to go. NOW.”</p><p> </p><p>“...well… fuck you… Ren…”</p><p> </p><p>“WHAT?!”</p><p> </p><p>While he’s in shock, Ryuji takes a few more steps away from him, and then proceeds to collapse onto the floor, weak from blood loss. The blood from his head lightly splatters, dirtying the floor even more.</p><p> </p><p>“HOLY SHIT! RYUJI?! RYUJI! GET UP! COME ON, GET UP!”</p><p> </p><p>“...no…” Ryuji replies, muffled from his face being pressed against the floor.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Goddamn it. I have to help you! Otherwise you’re vulnerable and could get killed!”</p><p> </p><p>“...mm… wha-”</p><p> </p><p>Quickly, he grabs Ryuji and bridal-carries him in his arms, wrapping Ryuji’s left arm around his head and shoulders so he doesn’t fall out of his grasp, ignoring the fact that his clothes probably would be stained with blood.</p><p> </p><p>“...Ren… what are…”</p><p> </p><p>“JUST HOLD ONTO ME.” Ren demands.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ryuji curls up, and starts crying softly into Ren's hair with quiet, muffled whimpers, probably from Ren yelling at him, but Ren doesn’t take any note of it.</p><p> </p><p>All he can think about is why he ended up running into a bleeding and dead-eyed Ryuji.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>“...what happened?”</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Third Time's the Charm...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In other words, lighthearted stuff to balance out the sadness.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Featuring Ren "fuck, i'm gay" Kurokawa and Ryuji "i'm gonna die hhhhhhh" Kinjo.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They make it to the infirmary in no time, and Ren puts Ryuji down on one of the medical beds.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The moment he’s out of his grasp, Ryuji looks back at his hands again.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…gotta… need to clean… blood… off…”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“For the love of- Ryuji, just stay there, please…”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…okay…”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Whew, at least you’re gonna cooperate.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ren grabs the hydrogen peroxide from out of the cabinet and pours a little bit on a cotton pad. Carefully, he reaches to daub it on Ryuji’s cut.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“OW!” Ryuji whimpers, starting to cry again.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Hey. Hey, hang on, just listen to me. If you can cooperate and let me clean you up, the next thing we’ll fix up are those bloody hands, alright? Just let me fix your head.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…why d-does my… head… bullet… dad’s gun…?”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Wha-”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Needless to say, even if Ren already knew about Tsurugi Kinjo and his suicide… it still hurt to see Ryuji like this. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>All the news had released that day was what had happened to Tsurugi.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>…but what of Ryuji, though?</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…dad’s gun? Bullet? Ryuji, what are you… talking about?” Ren asks, unsure if he’s gonna get an answer.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Ryuji?”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…dad… in front of… killed himself…” Ryuji mumbles, some of his words slurring to the point of inaudibility. But for Ren, it was enough.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…holy shit.” he realizes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ryuji’s dad committed suicide IN FRONT OF HIM?!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But a “…wh-what?!” is all he can get out, not like what he's thinking.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ryuji looks down sadly at his bleeding hands.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…dad… he… his… blood… my hands… need to… to…!” Ryuji started panicking, and immediately dashes to the exit of the infirmary to leave again.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“RYUJI! WAIT!”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Recklessly, and with a bit too much force, Ren yanks Ryuji onto the bed before he can do anything.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>By his left arm.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Ryuji’s still-injured, left arm.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“A-AH-”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ryuji lets out a panicked yelp, falls from Ren stopping him from walking, and hits the floor.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hard.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>What happens next is something Ren never wants to hear again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Because right after, Ryuji starts sobbing, curling up into himself as he grips his left arm, trying to ease the pain.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And Ren's eyes widen immediately.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strong>“SHIT!”</strong> </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ren drops to his knees and gets Ryuji up off the floor, holding him gingerly in his arms.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Goddamn it, he's hurt Ryuji again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“A-AH! OW! I-IT HURTS…” Ryuji bawls, instinctively holding his left arm and shoulder with his right hand.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Shit, shit, Ryuji, fuck, I’m sorry, wait, wait, please-”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“NO! G-GET AWAY FROM ME!” he yells back, getting himself back on his feet and starting to walk out of the infirmary again. Ren accidentally let go of him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“WAIT, RYUJI! DON’T GO, I’M <b>SORRY</b>!”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ryuji stops, before he slowly turns around.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…s-sorry…?”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…yes, Ryuji. I’m… sorry," Ren apologizes, getting back up onto his feet, in a position to chase after him if Ryuji runs away again.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The silence between them is… oddly awkward, to say the least.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Then Ryuji breaks it, immediately rushing back to Ren and giving him a big hug, wincing at the usage of his left shoulder.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…dad never… said sorry… don’t know why… still love him… but I do… figures you’d… be different…”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…wha- well… you’re… you’re welcome, Ryuji,” Ren chuckles. “Now, I need to… er… nurse that cut of yours. And your hands…”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…no problem…” Ryuji sighs, and he walks back to the bed he's been sitting on.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ren grabs another cotton pad and applies more hydrogen peroxide to it.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…I should’ve probably told you this’ll hurt, Ryuji. So… just brace for it,” Ren warns Ryuji this time.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…okay…”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Carefully, Ren applied the cotton pad to another part of Ryuji’s cut.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ryuji lets out a few whimpers, and his arms start shaking, but he keeps himself from moving as Ren finally disinfects the wound on his head.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“There you go! Nice job,” Ren congratulates him, grabbing the roll of bandages from the cabinet and wrapping it a few times around his head.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…phew… okay. That’s been resolved. But I gotta clean up your hands now, Ryuji.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…mm… alright.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ryuji still isn’t snapping out of it. While he can talk, it's… somewhat slurred, still.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Maybe cleaning his hands would help.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ren takes Ryuji to the bathroom with the bandages, hydrogen peroxide, and cotton pads.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Carefully, he rinses his hands out under cold running water to numb the pain a bit, then quickly disinfects Ryuji’s hands and wraps bandages around his bleeding knuckles.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Thankfully, he had barely used the roll of bandages at the end of it… it was rather large, after all.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Oh, phew… that’s done now!”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…done…?”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Yeah! You’re done.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…thanks…”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>…still in a daze, huh?</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Ryuji? You… still seem a bit dazed. Something you… want to tell me? Haven’t been telling me?” Ren inquires, as the two of them walk back to their dorms.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ryuji stops. Instinctively, and almost instantly.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…wha… Ryuji?”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…maybe.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…<b>maybe</b>?”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…don’t want… everyone… know…”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Oh. Well, if you… want to tell me, then you can… maybe do it in my room. If you’re… comfortable, at least. No pressure.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…okay,” Ryuji answers, a bit quicker this time.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Maybe he needs to let out a lot,” Ren thinks.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ren unlocks his dorm door, and they both step in.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ren’s room is… about the same, and yet it has a different vibe than Ryuji’s plain room. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It’s the same monochromatic room with blue highlights, but with the addition of skateboards on a rack on one wall, the protective skateboard gear messily lying on the floor nearby, the skateboard wax on Ren’s desk to accompany the skateboard bag and toolbox standing up against the table legs, it already looks much different from Ryuji’s room.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Plus, it smelled of body spray… though, thankfully, it wasn’t overpowering. As Ryuji breathed in the new, yet somewhat familiar scent, it calmed him. The smell was soothing, in its own way.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“…so… yeah. This is my room. It’s a bit messy, but I didn’t expect you to be here on such short notice anyways, so just don’t mind it, alright?” Ren asks, checking if Ryuji’s still there.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ryuji nods, sitting down on Ren’s bed.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Oh, there? I was… actually, no, you’re fine where you are. I’ll just…”</p><p> </p><p>Ren plops himself down right next to Ryuji.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“When you’re ready… if you’re ready, you can tell me, Ryuji. But until then, you don’t have to do a thing. Just… relax. Oh, wait, let me just…”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ren gets off the bed, and heads to the closet, right across from the bed.</p><p> </p><p>He opens it, revealing a compact stereo system and a stack of CDs right below his clothes, hanging on hangers right above.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He opens up one of the CD cases, grabs the disk inside, opens the CD tray of the stereo, pops the disk inside the section labeled “CD 1,” and closes the tray.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Moments later, some soothing and jazzy music starts to play, and Ryuji’s startled.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“O-Oh, this is… heh…” Ryuji stutters, letting himself just listen to the music, quietly swaying back and forth.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He hums along to the melodies, letting his muscles start to relax as well, taking deep, but light breaths.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ren sings along to the music, and it… kind of stuns Ryuji. He forgot Ren was in a band once, and while he knew that Ren played the guitar, he’s… needless to say, quite taken away at Ren’s singing voice. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It’s a little bit off-tune. It's a little bit nasally, but it's smooth and it's a bit deep. It’s a combination of a lot of things and it all works out when it’s added together… surprisingly!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>How? Ryuji doesn’t really know. But he’s… he wants to stay in this moment. It’s… just him, and Ren, and it’s… perfect, to him. There isn’t anything else he could want… except maybe the bandages off, but he’s injured, so… yeah.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>This continues for a bit, until Ryuji finally hears a song he feels like he wants to sing to—an old one, from his piano lessons. It was in English, which he felt he could speak (and therefore sing) well in.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He loved singing, and... this time was no different. He wasn't talented enough to be an Ultimate, but he was still good, in his opinion.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The song was sung by an old artist… Frank Sinatra, if he remembers correctly. A famous American singer from the late 20th century.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Though Ren doesn’t notice, Ryuji gets to his feet, tapping out the rhythm in his black dress shoes, quietly singing at first.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> Fly me to the moon </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Let me play among the stars </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> And let me see what spring is like </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> On a-Jupiter and Mars </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> In other words, hold my hand </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> In other words, baby, kiss me </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ren stops what he’s doing, and his jaw drops once he hears Ryuji sing.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>In contrast to his nasal and slightly-deep voice, Ryuji’s was quite light and airy, to say the least. And it was… really nice to listen to, in his opinion. Ren let himself listen further, though Ryuji didn’t notice as he continued. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> Fill my heart with song </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> And let me sing forevermore </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> You are all I long for </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> All I worship and adore </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> In other words, please be true </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> In other words, I love you </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ryuji started to harmonize during the instrumental bridge, a demonstration of the talent and musicality he’d picked up from the amount of piano he’d gone through.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And all Ren could think was, “Holy shit, he’s full of surprises, isn’t he?”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He looked so happy singing, and it really made Ren smile, because… that was all he really wanted for him. Really. He’d gone through enough already, hadn’t he?</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>…wait, was it fine for him to think about him in that-</p><p> </p><p>Actually, yeah, it was! Who wouldn’t want the best for their <em> friends </em>?</p><p> </p><p>Especially for Ryuji, who he can’t stop listening to because he’s such a <em> damn good singer </em> and he just wants to listen to him endlessly and he wants to give him the biggest hug because he deserves it andprobablythefuckingworldfuckhewantstokisshimsobadlyhowthefuckishesocutelikethathelpwhyishesofucking<b>gay</b>goddamnitughhhhhh…</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He doesn’t notice, but blood rushes to his cheeks and he starts to blush madly. God. Send help. …or actually, disregard that, he fucking sent down an angel from heaven, fuck.</p><p>
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</p><p>And Ryuji is still going.</p><p>
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  <em> Fill my heart with song </em>
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  <em> Let me sing forevermore </em>
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  <em> You are all I long for </em>
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  <em> All I worship and adore </em>
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  <em> In other words, please be true </em>
</p><p> </p><p>WHY THE FUCK IS HE SO GOOD- THAT HIGH NOTE IS KILLING REN AS RYUJI BELTS IT, NOT WAVERING AT ALL. GOD, REN FEELS LIKE SCREAMING.</p><p>
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  <em> In other words  </em>
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  <em> In other words </em>
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  <em> I love… you. </em>
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</p><p>Ryuji’s voice softens at the end when he says, “you.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Holy shit.</p><p>
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</p><p><b>Holy. <span class="u">Fucking.</span></b> <span class="u"><b><em>Shit?!</em></b></span></p><p>
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</p><p>Ryuji suddenly realizes where he is, and his eyes widen as his head turns around to look at Ren.</p><p>
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</p><p>“O-OH, UH, I… REN, UM… UH…” he stutters, getting so flustered that Ren internally screams. He’s in… major disbelief, to say the least (and that’s a heavy underestimation).</p><p>
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</p><p>“…since when have you been able to sing like that?!” he exclaims, trying not to worsen Ryuji’s condition, as he looks like he’s about to faint. “YOU SOUNDED SO GOOD AND I NEARLY THOUGHT YOU WERE AN ANGEL FROM HEAVEN AND WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD AT SINGING YOU SHOULD SING WITH US IF WE ESCAPE PLEASE YOU’RE SO AMAZING RYUJI-FUCKING-KINJO-”</p><p>
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</p><p>Meanwhile, the blush on Ryuji’s cheeks starts to intensify and he’s wobbling and he’s sweating and his legs are trembling and his hands are shaking and <em> ohnohe’sprobablygonnacollapsehedoesn’tknowwhenhe’slasthadthismuchpraiseandhemayaswellexplodefromallthispositiveenergy-  </em></p><p>
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</p><p>…send help.</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>“I… I-I… I… I-” Ryuji stutters, and he somehow manages to feel his brain malfunction.</p><p> </p><p>AND THEN he falls backward.</p><p>
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</p><p>“AAH!” Ren screams, and he instinctively bursts out of the spot where he’s been standing for quite some time.</p><p>
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</p><p>Ren manages to catch him in time before he smashes his head against the floor again, but that’s in part to Ryuji, who manages to wrap his arms around Ren before he hits the floor and… oh, god, the position they were in at the moment-</p><p>
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</p><p>…thank fuck for his fast reflexes… </p><p>
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</p><p>BUT MAYBE HE AND RYUJI SHOULD GET OUT OF THE POSITION THEY’RE IN OR RYUJI’S REALLY GOING TO FAINT OUT OF EMBARRASSMENT. REN DOES NOT WANT AN UNCONSCIOUS RYUJI BY ALL MEANS.</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>YEAH. THAT WORKS.</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ren lifts Ryuji up, and places him back on his bed, standing right next to him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"...dude. Promise me that you'll sing with me sometime, if we ever... get out of here, okay?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"...okay," Ryuji hesitantly agrees, shaking his hand weakly.</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>“Great! So, uh… er… what do you want to talk about now? If I play more music you might as well start panicking again, so what now?” Ren wonders.</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>“Well, good news… I think I’m ready to share. I feel comfortable sharing this with you, Ren, so… here goes nothing..."</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>“...I guess you should sit down. This is gonna be… a long one," Ryuji sighs.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>So Ren takes a seat, right next to Ryuji on his bed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ryuji takes a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>And he starts to speak.</p><p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. ...Or is it the Fourth?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Ryuji finally lets go.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: vomiting, panic attacks, possible mishandling of a panic attack, mentions of suicidal thoughts and self-depreciation</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>“...so. Where to start…?”</p><p>
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</p><p>“...I guess I could start with… dad. Dad was never quite the nicest… I preferred my father more. He was… much nicer than the one I’m talking about here, the chief of police, Tsurugi Kinjo. He was really strict, and he always wanted me to be my best…”</p><p>
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</p><p>“...but trying to be the best all the time really… really…”</p><p>
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</p><p>“...it <b>killed me</b>. On the inside. It hurt.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“If I didn’t come back with a high score on a test or a quiz, then he… he’d yell at me. It hurt. A lot. I couldn’t fight back, or I’d just get more of a severe punishment. He was scary. He yelled a lot, and he was loud, and… I already said that, sorry.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“He always wanted me to bend to his will. Pick up this skill, pick up that, don’t do this, apply for this, this won’t help you succeed in life, this will, and… it got to the point where I… well… wondered if there was more to life than what I was trapped in. It hurt. And eventually I just… grew to be desensitized. I didn’t feel like a human, I felt like a puppet. No free will at all. I was simply to obey, and… that was it.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“...my father was home pretty often, but even when he was, he seemed to bend to… his will, too. which… I found scary. What… why did this happen to him?”</p><p>
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</p><p>“...I didn’t understand why- why… why he had to… why did he… he… he…!”</p><p>
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</p><p>Ryuji’s eyes widen, and he starts trembling, his hands starting to wrap around himself, as he shudders.</p><p>
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</p><p>“I can’t… why did he… why- no, no, no, no, nonononono<b>nononononono</b><b><em>nonononono</em> </b> <em> - </em>”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Ryuji? Stay with me- hey. Hey. Hey, Ryuji. Ryu- Ryuji! RYUJI! STAY WITH ME! SNAP OUT OF IT!”</p><p>
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</p><p>That does nothing to calm Ryuji down, and everything to make him panic more, as he starts leaning back and forth.</p><p> </p><p>The tension in his stomach is rising to his brain and it hurts and it doesn’t and it makes him sick and he just wants to cry why why why why <b>why </b><b>why</b> <b><em>why</em></b> <b><em>why</em></b><b><em>-</em></b> it hurts… his head is pounding and he feels like he’s going to lose it-</p><p>
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</p><p>He screams, throwing a pillow into the corner of Ren’s room, hitting the rack and tipping out the contents, and then trying desperately to mess up the bed, forgetting that he wasn’t in his own room. Ren nearly falls over from not being prepared for the amount of force Ryuji put in, trying to yank the blanket off the bed.</p><p>
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</p><p>“GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! I DON’T WANT… DON’T WANT- WHY…” Ryuji wails, trying to throw everything into disarray. “I JUST WANNA LEAVE… I WANNA- WAN- WA-’</p><p>
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</p><p>Ren rushes off of the bed and quickly wraps his arms tightly around Ryuji from behind, in an attempt to both comfort and restrain him at the same time. God, he wishes he knew how to handle this, but he’s trying his best and just hoping he doesn’t fuck it up further at this point.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ryuji screeches in response, and if anyone heard him at this point, they'd think he was getting murdered.</p><p>
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</p><p><b>“NO! LET ME GO- PLEASE- LEMMEGOSTOPWHYNOPLEASE…”</b> Ryuji sobs hoarsely, doing his absolute best to get out of Ren’s grip and not succeeding.</p><p>
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</p><p>...fuck, it seems to have gotten Ryuji in more of a panic, but if Ren lets go, he risks Ryuji causing more destruction and possibly hurting himself in the process.</p><p>
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</p><p>“Ryuji, shh… it’s okay. Deep breaths-”</p><p>
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</p><p>“NO! L-LET ME GO, PLEASE- I DON’T WANNA BE HERE- PLEASE I’M BEGGING YOU-”</p><p>
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</p><p>Ryuji was tiring himself out trying to fight against Ren, and he could tell, as Ryuji’s struggles against him grew weaker.</p><p>
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</p><p>Ren recalls faintly a grounding tactic that Mitsuki had talked about… what was it?</p><p>
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</p><p>He can’t remember, but he’s gonna try to see if it works.</p><p>
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</p><p>“...Ryuji, breathe. See anything? List it off for me?”</p><p> </p><p>“...nn- let go… I c-can see your d-dumb hair… that p-pillow that I just threw, l-lying next to your skateboard bag… n-near your… d-desk… and… w-w-wax… on t-top…” Ryuji chokes out, trying desperately to breathe and hyperventilating instead.</p><p>
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</p><p>Ren loosens his grip, noticing this immediately.</p><p>
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</p><p>“Hey, Ryu. If this is too much for you… it’s okay. You… you tried, at least. Just… just try to catch your breath, okay? You’re stuttering, and you’re… you can’t breathe properly. So… yeah, anything you can feel?”</p><p> </p><p>“...you’re b-breathing on me… for one… you’re hugging… me… and I can feel my bandages tightening around my knuckles… and… uh… oh, the floor… I guess-”</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji lets out quite a few pained coughs, and Ren pats him on the back a few times.</p><p> </p><p>“Anything you smell?”</p><p> </p><p>“...nothing but your body spray… u-ugh, it’s so… nauseating- and your breath smells-”</p><p> </p><p>“It does NOT!” Ren objects, comically. “But seriously, hang in there, man, you’re doing great. Uh… taste? Anything you taste?”</p><p> </p><p>“...s-salt… a-and- MMPH-”</p><p>
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</p><p>Ryuji bursts out of Ren’s arms and dashes into the bathroom, gagging. He collapses in front of the toilet and makes an attempt to vomit, but because he hasn’t eaten anything today, he’s puking straight bile.</p><p>
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</p><p>“Ryuji- OH, SHIT- Okay, hang on, hang on, hang on, it’s okay…”</p><p>
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</p><p>Ren calms him down, gently patting him on the back, even though Ryuji is in immense pain because now he’s got a big headache from dehydration due to crying too much from the panic attack, and now he remembers he’s starving but he hasn’t eaten because his brain suppressed the signals telling him he was hungry, and now his throat is burning because he’s vomiting and he’s still crying and he can’t breathe properly- god, this was not his day, was it?</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ryuji lets out a sniffle a bit later when he’s done.</p><p>
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</p><p>“O-Oh, god, I’m s-sorry, Ren… I’ve made a mess, a-and-”</p><p> </p><p>“Ryuji, it’s okay. I can… clean it up, y’know. But I think we both need some fresh air after that, because you’ll probably be nauseous again if you don’t get out of my dorm… body spray… y’know. And I… mm, needless to say, I think I might yell at you for trashing my dorm if I don’t find some way to take a breather, and I can’t yell at you because that’d be a dick move because you just had a panic attack… fuck, I’m sorry. Just… when you’re ready, flush the toilet, rinse out your mouth, and I’ll be waiting outside for you.”</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji dejectedly nods, and Ren exits the bathroom.</p><p>
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</p><p>...Ryuji feels as though this is the nadir for him. Having a panic attack because he simply can’t talk properly, trashing his friend’s room, then vomiting inside his bathroom… god, he’s an asshole, isn’t he?</p><p>
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</p><p>He feels like crying, but he’s emotionally drained from his breakdown, so he's just there, on his knees, sitting in silence for a minute.</p><p>
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</p><p>He sighs.</p><p>
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</p><p>If he doesn’t go now, he’ll make Ren wait, and then he’ll look like even more of an asshole.</p><p>
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</p><p>Slowly, Ryuji gets up to his feet, and flushes the toilet, dazedly watching the bile go down with the water.</p><p>
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</p><p>Then, once the toilet’s done flushing, he turns to the sink, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror.</p><p>
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</p><p>His eyes are bloodshot, and the bandage on his head is bloody.</p><p>
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</p><p>...he looks horrible.</p><p>
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</p><p>He uses his hands to bring water to his mouth, ignoring the fact that his bandages got wet. He swishes the water inside his mouth, and then spits it out, sighing as his mouth is relieved of that sour, acidic taste.</p><p>
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</p><p>Finally, he leaves the bathroom, and Ren’s fixing up his bed, the saddest half-smile on his face- has he been crying?</p><p>
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</p><p>“...Ren?”</p><p>
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</p><p>He jumps a little bit, startled.</p><p>
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</p><p>“...sorry, uh… um…” Ren’s voice breaks slightly, and he wipes away a tear, his eyeliner getting smeared in the process.</p><p>
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</p><p>“Oh, uh-”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Don’t. It’s fine,” he sighs. “Let’s… go.”</p><p>
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</p><p>The two of them walk over to the door, and Ren opens it for Ryuji to step through first, trying to give him the brightest of smiles he could, even if his eyes were a bit teary.</p><p>
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</p><p>The two of them walk through the halls, their footsteps echoing.</p><p>
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</p><p>The halls are barely illuminated, with only some faint lights on nearby and the stars outside lighting up the sky, with the moon shining behind Nisshoku Academy.</p><p>
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</p><p>It’s an odd feeling, being up so late at night when they should be sleeping.</p><p>
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</p><p>They’re both silent.</p><p>
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</p><p>Ren breaks it.</p><p>
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</p><p>“...well… I’m sorry about… trying to get you to come clean, Ryuji. It… c-clearly was really sensitive for you to talk about, a-and… I regret doing that, because now I’ve hurt you, and-”</p><p>
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</p><p>“...don’t cry, Ren. You were there for me, at least. And I appreciate that. I do. So… thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>“It… must have been hard to see me losing my mind in front of you, right?” Ryuji asks him, the same bittersweet smile on his face.</p><p>
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</p><p>“...it was, Ryuji. I have to admit that.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“...well… no kidding, heh…” he chuckles bitterly.</p><p>
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</p><p>The two of them arrive at the courtyard and open the doors.</p><p>
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</p><p>A cool breeze rushes to meet them, and they inhale the refreshing air, letting it flow deep into their lungs.</p><p>
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</p><p>The quiet rustling of the grass is a nice accompaniment to the crickets, and it’s starry out tonight… how pretty it is.</p><p>
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</p><p>Ren takes a seat on the lush, green grass, beneath the shade of a tree, and Ryuji decides to sit down beside him.</p><p>
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</p><p>The two of them sit there in silence for a while, appreciating the nature in front of them.</p><p>
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</p><p>But Ryuji’s the one to break the silence this time. Something’s still on his mind.</p><p>
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</p><p>“...I… wanted to kill myself, Ren. Over… for all those years that… that dad hurt me. Those were years that I could… I could never get back, and it pained me to… to think about. Years of thinking I was useless, and that... I was nothing except someone else's puppet, and... in general, just a toy to be thrown around and hurt and mistreated while... everyone laughed and let it happen."</p><p>
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</p><p>“But… god, I… I couldn’t do it. I tried, but I’d reach for a knife to slit my wrists with or some of my father's medication to overdose on and… I just couldn’t do it. And I didn’t know why- hell, I wanted to yell at myself for being such a… a… a pussy.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Pfft- you really just-"</p><p> </p><p>“I’d tell you off for being immature, but like hell do I give a shit right now… you know dad never let me curse? He said it was vulgar and that it was the first sign I was being corrupted.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, isn’t that some bullshit?”</p><p> </p><p>“...yeah. Felt empowering to curse when he wasn’t around…”</p><p> </p><p>“And he’s not here anymore, is he? You can curse all you want here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Damn right.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“...but dad… he changed. One day. It was… it was scary, to say the least. But not in the way that you think.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“I woke up, and he was standing by the bed. Naturally, I backed away, in fear of what might happen, but he… spoke to me. And it was… gentle. Calm. Something I’d never seen before, in him.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“And he hugged me, and he cried, and he apologized for everything. I thought I was dreaming.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Ren’s… needless to say, in shock.</p><p>
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</p><p>“...but how? People don’t just… magically change in the span of a day, do they?”</p><p>
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</p><p>“...I thought so too.”</p><p> </p><p>“...but after his suicide, my father told me everything.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Dad was like a tidal wave. A tsunami, that’s how he described him. He… had a lot of pent-up stress and anger from his dad’s poor treatment of him. He was raised to advocate for perfect justice, in which all crime was abolished and everyone abided by the rules.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“...but that just grew into perfectionism. Because he couldn’t see anyone as being perfect unless they were a perfect person to begin with, and only then would they perfectly abide by the law… it’s twisted logic, and even I couldn’t understand it, but it made sense to him… it made a whole lot of sense to him, until… one night.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“My father talked with him one night, after I’d… cried, in front of him for performing poorly at a recital due to stage fright.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“...and he told him that he was hurting me. He told him everything I was feeling at that point… never really trusted dad to talk about feelings, so I told my father everything. Everything.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“...and that night, he told him everything I felt, how it felt dehumanizing, that I felt like I’d never be good enough, that I was a mistake and that I was a waste of space and…”</p><p>
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</p><p>“...and that I had wanted to kill myself over it. That I didn’t think I deserved to live for being such a failure and that I… was better off dead, for my father and my dad’s sakes. I was the scum of the earth, and I’d never be anything better. I tried my hardest, but he never acknowledged it, and so I just thought I’d be nothing but… zero. Not even negative, because that has some sort of value. Zero.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Ryuji inhales some cool air through his nose, slowly letting it out through his lips.</p><p>
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</p><p>Then, he continues. Ren notices his eyes glistening with tears again, shining thanks to the light of the stars.</p><p>
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</p><p>“...I was never there to see it, b-but my father said that you could practically see dad’s heart shatter into pieces on the floor...”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"...once that tsunami crashed, the destruction came after, in the f-form of... dad h-having to reconsider everything he thought and knew a-about himself. He realized just what he'd done..."</p><p>
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</p><p>“...and I think that’s what caused him to go… overboard. That guilt. That realization that he’d done so much shit to me that he could never take back in his attempt to save me… and he tried his hardest to make up for his wrongdoings, and I appreciated it so much, but… he didn’t think he was enough. After all the shit he’d done to me, he couldn’t see himself as anything but a failure. A failure to his son, a failure to his line of work, and a failure to the human race.”</p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>“...heh, it’s ironic, i-isn’t it? I… felt the same way, but couldn’t go through with… ending it. But dad… had more of a b-backbone than… than I did… and it killed him in… in the end…”</p><p>
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</p><p>“...it’s not fair…” he cries, as tears roll down his cheeks, sparkling in the faint starlights.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And it's so oddly... pretty. In the oddest way possible.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And it convinces Ren.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ren really starts thinking Ryuji's an angel sent from heaven at this point. It just... fits too well.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He... he really didn't need to do this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>His dad fucking abused him for so long and he put him through hell! He didn't have to fucking forgive him, for God's sake- why? If it were up to him, he'd beat Tsurugi's ass a thousand times over for what he'd done to Ryuji!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And yet... Ryuji still forgives him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ren feels his heart drop.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ryuji... really cares. He really cares about anyone he truly loves, and... it makes Ren feel so bad inside.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>He's so kind... even after all of... that.</strong>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em><strong>It really is almost as though he is an angel,</strong> <strong>huh?</strong></em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ren can practically see the halo over his head at this point.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Because to him, Ryuji Kinjo is an angel in disguise to him, a beautifully hidden and perfect soul tainted with imperfection for the sake of being human, and yet Ren knows what lies beneath that. He's so forgiving, and full of naïvety, and he suffers so much, even though he doesn't deserve any of the treatment he goes through.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>If it were up to him, he'd change that in a heartbeat.</strong>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He's truly beautiful, a beacon of light waiting to shine in this dark killing game they're in, and...</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>...Ren swears on his life he'd do anything to protect him.</strong>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“...he deserved a second chance for what he did, and… he never got it… he couldn’t give it to himself. H-He tried, and he was… p-probably one of the kindest people I kn-knew for the one year that he tried to fix himself, b-but…” </p><p>
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</p><p>“...why…? Why did… why did society have to do that to him? Why was it so… Why was it so bad- Why did- it took him away… because he thought he wasn’t enough for it… that he’d never be enough for it, that level of p-perfectionism would never be achievable and he’d failed society and he’d never be able to fix it and he deserved to die for his actions- it’s not fair…” Ryuji sobs.</p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>And he finally lets go.</p><p>
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</p><p>Those words… all these thoughts escape his mind and fly to the stars, where… his father had told him everyone goes when they die.</p><p>
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</p><p>It’s a childish thought to entertain, but… Ryuji hopes those words reach his father. And comfort him.</p><p>
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</p><p>...he knows how much he needs it, after all.</p><p>
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</p><p>“...dad…” Ryuji cries, and Ren takes the opportunity to hug him, pulling him into his arms and letting Ryuji sob into his shoulder.</p><p>
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</p><p>“...I m-miss him… so much… I just want him to come… to come back… I miss him… I wanna show him how much I’ve… I’ve a-accomplished since he’s been gone… but he’ll never see a-any of it, Ren, and I-”</p><p>
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</p><p>“...shh… it’s okay, Ryu, just let it all out…” Ren whispers, as he gently strokes his back, letting Ryuji let out the grief he’s been keeping in for so long… for so many years.</p><p>
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</p><p>“...dad…” Ryuji whimpers.</p><p>
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</p><p>Tonight, Ryuji Kinjo’s released. The note he’s been holding for so long has finally been released, and instead is replaced with a chord of harmony, ringing faintly in his ears.</p><p>
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</p><p>The bliss in his mind of finally being free is the best feeling. The freedom from this… metaphorical cage is breathtaking.</p><p>
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</p><p>Even if he’s crying, he takes the minutes that pass by to breathe in the air, now that he’s finally freed himself.</p><p>
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</p><p>And once his pieces come together again, he’s finally whole. Complete again.</p><p>
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</p><p>Instead of a D♭4, Ryuji sings a C♯4, singing his all-time favorite song, much more bright and happy than the sonata that trapped him in. He’d also learned it through piano lessons, for Valentine’s Day. </p><p>
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</p><p>...he doesn’t know why he’s singing it right now, but the tune comes out before he can stop it, and he lets it flow into the night.</p><p>
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</p><p>
  <em> L… is for the way you look… at me… </em>
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  <em> O… is for the only one… I see… </em>
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  <em> V… is very, very… extraordinary, </em>
</p><p>
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  <em> E… is even more than anyone that you adore can… </em>
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</p><p>Ren knows what he’s singing, and he doesn’t hesitate to jump in, wanting to join Ryuji for a duet they’d probably never get to have again, if luck were not to befall them. Carpe diem, seize the day… or night, in this case.</p><p>
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</p><p>
  <b>Ooh, love… is all that I can give… to you…</b>
</p><p>
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  <b>Love… is more than just a game for two.</b>
</p><p>
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  <b>Two… in love can make it, take my heart and please don’t break it,</b>
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  <b>Love… was made for me and you…</b>
</p><p>
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</p><p>They loop immediately, still stuck in the same key, but never growing tired of it. Ryuji harmonizes again, and Ren feels the magic of this night starting to take over him. This feeling… he doesn’t know if he wants to leave it.</p><p> </p><p>They change up some of the lyrics, make it jazzy, fun, everything.</p><p>
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</p><p>At the end of it all, they’re teenagers, and they’re savoring just living in the now for tonight.</p><p>
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</p><p><b>L… it’s for the way</b> <b>you look...</b>               <b>at me...</b> </p><p>
  <em>                                               (you look)             (at me, oh-) </em>
</p><p>
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</p><p><b>O, it’s for the only one…        I see... </b>                                      </p><p>
  <em>                                     (the only one I see) </em>
</p><p>
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</p><p><b>V… is </b> <b> <em>very, very… extraordinary,</em> </b></p><p>
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  <b> <em>E… is even more than anyone that you adore can-</em> </b>
</p><p>
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  <em> Love… it’s all that I can give…            to you... </em>
</p><p> <b>(I’ll give my heart to you, oh-)</b></p><p>
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</p><p>
  <em> Love…               is more, not just a game…            for two… </em>
</p><p> <b> (ooh, love)                                     (not just a game for two, yeah)</b></p><p>
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</p><p><em> Two…      </em> <b> <em>in love can make it, take my heart and please don’t break it…</em> </b></p><p> <b>(two)</b></p><p>
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</p><p>
  <em> Love… was made for me and you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p> <b>Love… was made for me and-</b></p><p>
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  <b> <em>Love… was made for me and you…</em> </b>
</p><p><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/>The last note resounds in the air, before it's blown away by the cool night air all the same.<br/><br/><br/></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“...wow. That was… amazing…” Ren breathes, still awestruck.</p><p>
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</p><p>“...yeah… it was…” Ryuji agrees.</p><p>
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</p><p>And then Ryuji’s stomach interrupts the moment, causing the two boys to have a giggle like they aren’t already almost adults.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“...I’m hungry…” Ryuji admits.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well, come on. Let’s grab a bite to eat.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Ryuji gets himself up, dusting off his pants, and Ren gets himself pulled up to his feet by Ryuji, more for the comedic effect of it rather than “I can’t get up, help.”</p><p>
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</p><p>The two of them head back inside, and head to the kitchen.</p><p>
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</p><p>Ryuji opens the fridge and squints almost instantly to adjust to the fridge lights, grabbing two apples from the fridge.</p><p> </p><p>“Good to eat before singing, I figure they’re good to eat after singing too,” Ryuji chuckles, washing them both in the sink.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah… need a bottle of wa-”</p><p> </p><p>“THINK FAST!” Ryuji shouts, tossing the apple, and Ren shrieks as he moves to catch it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t do that again, Ryu, just don’t-”</p><p>
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</p><p>Ryuji’s laughing at him.</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>...eh, fuck it. Ren laughs too.</p><p>
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</p><p>The two of them decide to eat sitting on the counter, crunching on the red apples.</p><p>
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</p><p>Ryuji takes a sip of his water and chuckles.</p><p>
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</p><p>“Remember that taste you get when you drink water after eating an apple?”</p><p>
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</p><p>“...oh, yeah, that… that taste sucks… yuck…”</p><p>
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</p><p>Ryuji giggles.</p><p>
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</p><p>The apples go into the garbage can, and Ryuji’s water bottle (which Ren swears he never, ever, ever got a sip out of, even though he knows damn well he’s lying and Ryuji's totally fine with it) goes into the recycling bin.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ren sneaks a glance at the clock.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong>4:44</strong> <strong>AM.</strong></p><p><br/><br/>Oh, god, it's late.<br/><br/><br/></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The two of them walk back to their dorms, as fatigue finally starts to take over them.</p><p>
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</p><p>A few minutes later, and they’ve finally made it back to their dorms, right next to each other.</p><p>
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</p><p>“...that was probably the best experience I’ve had in a long time, Ren. Thank you,” Ryuji says to Ren.</p><p>
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</p><p>“...no problem, Ryu. Only natural for a friend to help a friend out.”</p><p>
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</p><p>They hug, standing between their dorms.</p><p>
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</p><p>...hey, Ryuji’s not letting go- why isn’t he letting go- Ren groans, because he wants to sleep now, can Ryuji please let go-</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“...I wanna sleep with you, Ren.”</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Oh.</p><p>
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</p><p>
  <b>Uh...</b>
</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He’s blushing again.</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ren fucking Kurokawa, why are you so gay?</p><p>
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</p><p>“...but the rules-”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Rules only say one must sleep in one’s dorm, not one’s <em> own </em> dorm… we’ll be fine, I think... and I think I locked myself out of my dorm, so... plus... I feel comfortable around you..."</p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>“I- ...well, if you say so…”</p><p>
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</p><p>Ren unlocks the door again, and Ryuji breathes in the scent of Ren’s body spray again, somehow still so new to him despite how long he’s stayed in here.</p><p>
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</p><p>They don’t even bother with changing. Both of them remove their shoes, Ryuji removes his jacket and tie, Ren removes his vest and wipes away his smeared eyeliner, and the two of them simply get under the covers.</p><p>
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</p><p>Ren’s arms are wrapped around Ryuji just like before, and Ryuji feels satisfied, shifting against him in the comfort of his embrace as he quietly falls asleep.</p><p>
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</p><p>Ren quietly chuckles, seeing Ryuji peaceful and calm right next to him.</p><p>
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</p><p>“...good night, Ryuji."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strong>"...love you."</strong> </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He presses a kiss to Ryuji's bandaged forehead.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
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</p><p>Ren doesn’t know if this is love or not yet, but… saying those last two words feels right. After that heart-to-heart they just had, it... feels right. And... the kiss, too.</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And right before he falls asleep, he almost swears he can hear Ryuji mumble a muffled…</p><p>
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</p><p>
  <em> “...love you too.” </em>
</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>What once was minor, sad and blue, has been transformed to major, bright, happy, and… still blue.</p><p>
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</p><p>Just like them, together.</p><p> </p><p><br/><br/><br/>- - - - - - - E N D - - - - - - -</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>BONUS!</b>
</p><p>
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</p><p>Chisato can’t sleep.</p><p>
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</p><p>She wakes up before the morning announcement, absolutely distraught over the loss of Dimitri.</p><p>
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</p><p>...how can she not be? They were her cousin, after all.</p><p>
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</p><p>...she still can’t find it in herself to forgive Dimitri’s murderer, either.</p><p>
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</p><p>She knows she should just let go, but she can’t.</p><p>
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</p><p>So, she decides to go on a walk, before Akume’s breakfast meeting today. </p><p> </p><p>She misses Dimitri. She wishes they were still beside her as she walks through this hallway with blood drops on the floor and them by her side-</p><p>
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  <b>WAIT, BLOOD?!</b>
</p><p>
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</p><p>Chisato follows the trail, and it takes her to the music room.</p><p> </p><p>She gasps, immediately opens the door, and sees red blood on the cover of the grand piano, because Ryuji neglected to clean it up last night after his breakdown, and now there’s still blood on the grand piano.</p><p> </p><p>Chisato assumes the worst.</p><p> </p><p>She screams.</p><p> </p><p>That alerts Naomi, who’s nearby, and she heads over, takes one look inside the music room, and screams with her.</p><p> </p><p>Daichi overhears the panic, peeks inside the music room, and shrieks, before covering his mouth in shock, because <em> holy shit, everyone just had to go through a fucking murder trial yesterday and if someone’s dead again he may as well lose it. </em></p><p>
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</p><p>The shriek alerts Aiya, and Taiyo comes with her because he doesn’t understand why she’s suddenly running because he didn’t overhear the panicking, and the two look inside the music room and start freaking out.</p><p> </p><p>The commotion alerts Hikari, and they run over and peer inside the music room, which at this point, is hard to do, given that five people are blocking the entrance, and they too shriek, before proceeding to pray quietly in Italian, because <em> there is blood on the piano and that probably means the worst but they’re hoping that’s not the case and </em> <em> Dio, per favore, aiutaci… </em></p><p> </p><p>Mai notices Hikari praying.</p><p> </p><p>Then she notices everyone else.</p><p> </p><p>And then they run over to the music room, sneak a glance inside and start cursing and freaking out because <strong>HOLY </strong> <b>CRAP WE JUST WENT THROUGH A FUCKING MURDER YESTERDAY HOW BLOODTHIRSTY IS THIS FUCKING GROUP FOR THIS SHIT TO BE HAPPENING TWO DAYS IN A ROW-</b></p><p> </p><p>Akume sees everyone panicking at the entrance of the music room, glimpses inside, and pales.</p><p> </p><p>Then comes Shiro and Madoka, the latter of which yells, “OH, SHIT!” when she sees the blood on the piano, and of which the former proceeds to slump against the wall and slowly slide to the floor, with his head in his hands, because <span class="u"> dear God, it happened again. </span></p><p> </p><p>And then of course Kuroko steps in monologuing and asking what all the fuss is about, only to peep inside the music room and… trail… off… from… their speech.</p><p> </p><p>And then he starts freaking out too, and now everyone is freaking out except for Shiro who’s getting a headache from this shit.</p><p> </p><p>“Send help,” he thinks.</p><p>
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</p><p>Then Mitsuki arrives from cooking breakfast because nobody’s been coming to eat for the past thirty minutes and the food’s getting cold and she looks inside the music room to see what the panic is about and <span class="u"> <b> <em>OH, MY GOD, IS THAT BLOOD?!</em> </b> </span></p><p>
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</p><p>She takes a headcount immediately.</p><p>
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</p><p>Ren’s missing.</p><p>
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</p><p>Ryuji’s missing.</p><p>
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</p><p>
  <b>OH.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>OH, NO.</b>
</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>“FOR THE LOVE OF- REN?! RYUJI?! WHERE ARE YOU- REN?! RYUJI?!”</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>SCREW FORMALITY, WHAT HAPPENED TO BOTH OF THEM?!</b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Everyone realizes Ren and Ryuji are missing and start to panic, dashing all across the school to try and find them because <b>if one of them is dead they’re all going to lose it.</b></p><p>
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</p><p>Mitsuki dashes to Ren’s dorm as fast as she can, in her dress and heels, and starts banging on his door.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>“REN?! OPEN THE GODFORSAKEN DOOR- REN KUROKAWA, I SWEAR, IF YOU ARE IN HERE AND DO NOT OPEN THIS DOOR IMMEDIATELY, I AM GOING TO LOSE IT-”</em> </b>
</p><p>
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</p><p>Ren opens it immediately, much to her… partial relief.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Jeez, sis, why do you need to wake me and Ryuji up so early in the morning, we had such a bad night and-”</p><p> </p><p>“DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED SICK I WAS FOR YOU?! THERE’S BLOOD ON THE PIANO AND BOTH YOU AND RYUJI ARE MISSING AND WE STILL CAN’T FIND RYUJI-"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>PROBLEM!</p><p> </p><p>Ren's still covered in blood from the whole debacle that was last night.</p><p> </p><p>And Mitsuki takes notice!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"...WHY ARE YOU COVERED IN BLOOD?! DID YOU MURDER RYUJI?! OH, MY GOD, REN, I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’D-"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And then she remembers her brother's choice of words.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"...wait just a moment, did you just say ‘me and Ryuji-’”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mitsuki steps inside, to see the final member of the group still asleep in Ren’s bed, a bandage wrapped around his head. He’s peacefully sleeping, she can tell, and Mitsuki sighs in relief as she realizes no one’s died, wiping a bead of sweat off her brow.</p><p>
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</p><p>“...oh, thank goodness. I’m not going to tell anyone, don’t worry. I apologize for disturbing you two, it seems you and Ryuji definitely have had… a very bad night, to say the least, given that he’s somehow injured himself on the head, and you’re covered in blood…? Anyway, I’ll notify everyone that you and Ryuji simply were still sleeping. Take care, both of you,” Mitsuki tells Ren, and she smiles in relief before gently shutting the door, so as not to disturb Ryuji from his sleep.</p><p>
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</p><p>Ren sighs in relief, but he also realizes Ryuji must have injured himself on the piano… oh, boy.</p><p>
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</p><p>He decides not to think about that, and crawls back into bed again, hugging Ryuji.</p><p>
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</p><p>“...mmm… what happened-”</p><p>
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</p><p>“...nothing, Ryuji. Go back to sleep, it’s fine.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“...okay… love you…”</p><p>
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</p><p>He goes back to sleeping.</p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>But Ren… does not.</p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>...he wasn’t dreaming after all. Ryuji… holy shit.</p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>Well! He’s definitely not gonna be able to go back to sleep anymore!</p><p>
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</p><p>
  <b>Fuck.</b>
</p><p>
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</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Feedback is appreciated!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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